Relationships - Part 21 - The "Room mates" people



Those who have lived in hostels, or lived away from family know what I mean by the "Room mates" people. The ones whom you lived  with, cooked with,  shared your bed with, spent almost the whole day in their company. These are the people a different face of them you saw inside and outside of the four walls,  whose habits who picked up unknowingly. These  people are the ones who see the "within the four walls" face of yours that only your family has so far seen.


There are different kinds of such "Roomie" people.


These room mates might be ones whom you knew already but may not have been really close, but someone whom you could call an acquaintance or sometimes even a friend. But having to spend all your time, literally all 24 hours of a day in their presence, seeing the other side of them, getting to know  their tolerance levels when things go wrong, getting to know their attitude towards life , their fears , and generally their adaptability standards has been a shocking experience.  It shocks to see a totally different person from what you see outside of this home, sometimes this is for the better , sometimes for the worse. If it tends to the worse and gets to the extreme like the one I am going to talk about next, then it can get a little awkward given that you have already shared a friendship with them. But , count yourself twice lucky if it tends to be for the better and you guys make great roomies.


These room mates might just be complete strangers to you, whom you just met a couple of hours back. These stranger turned roomies, might get into the category of the people who can get on to your nerves. You can't stand their tantrums, you blow a fuse at every move of theirs, you get annoyed at them sharing your space, you can't tolerate them not sharing the house work with you, you can’t accept the way they manage their finance, you can't put up with their so-called-funny stories, you can't digest their cleanliness standards, you can’t forgive their irresponsibility or their indifference to you as a roomie, in all you just can’t live with them. It is not a very happy thing to be living with these people. You get it out all with cribbing to a far away friend or to a family member of your not-so-fun times with them.


Some of these stranger people, when made roomies , strike an excellent chord of friendship with you.  Though not always greatly similar in thinking or in likes and dislikes, you start liking them a great deal, respecting their differences, discovering your own inner self in the relationship.  You start adapting their likes, dislikes and preferences , do the crazy things they do adding up to your own craziness and rub some of yours onto them as well. You learn a lesson or two from them , probably even pick up a bad habit from them, knowingly or unknowingly. When with them, you never ever feel , they are tending to invade into your private space or time, just because they know what their limits are. You don't mind compromising on your likes and dislikes once in a while, you step out of your comfort zones sometimes to accommodate their preference, but all with happiness and a sense of share and care. The secret of this relationship is not because you are so much like each other, or have the same preferences, it is because you complement and enjoy similarities with each other to just the allowed extent and you respect the dissimilarities with each other with grace. They become more than just buddies, getting to know each other a great deal, knowing each other secrets, fears, threshold levels , you respect and love each other and you have sense of belonging with them.


Whether they took us by surprise , or we loved them or we hated them or we got annoyed by them, one thing is for certain, we got to know them a great deal . They help you see and realize the faces of people within and outside of "4- wall home" premises.  Such relationships are much needed in everyone's life, you ought to live with somebody that is not your family, to appreciate or understand the aspect of relationships in life.


In my world, I have been blessed with some really great roomies and also the not-getting-along-too-well ones. This post is dedicated to one such roomie when I lived aboard who is a great friend till today. 


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