Fleeting series – Part 2 - The “subdued” Fleeting Times

Thursday, April 15, 2010         


Have you ever felt like this?

Have been longing to meet someone for a long time, when the time and date is worked out, you suddenly feel just ordinary.

Waiting restlessly for a movie or a book to be released, but when booked tickets or the book held in hand, it sometimes just feels ordinary.

Have been wanting to buy an item but stayed away because you found it expensive, suddenly it is on dirty-cheap sale, but it seems ordinary and you actually don't feel like having it now even if given free.

Have been wanting to own a thing and you get it as a gift and it seems ordinary within the first few hours.

Planned a holiday of a lifetime way in advance, but as you pack your bags and the day of start nears, it just seems like just another holiday.

A dream cherished for a lifetime, held so dear close to the heart, while on the last mile run, sometimes just seems ordinary.

These are sub-dued fleeting periods as I call them. The adrenaline does not go up, no great achievement seems great enough to excite you, no amazing deal, no longed for item seems to help and get to out of your sub-dued fleeting period. We have all gone through it and we just find anything wrong with us feeling subdued during those times. Whether or not we have realized these periods, we were better off underplaying those moments than being excited by them. Our mind plays its coins well to keep us in control, though we just don't understand why and how it manages to do it.

The SUBDUED Fleeting moments have left me perplexed and confused and wondering if am really wishing for the right things . Why my heart is suddenly not happy at what it wanted sometime back?  I waged a war with my heart asking it these questions.

Were you really happy but just not wanting to show it by being excited, and why would not want to hide it from me?
Or were you really not happy at all?

I was defeated in the war and I felt subdued once again at the end of it instead of throwing a rage. Some things are better left to themselves than dissected.


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Fleeting Series Part 1 – “Fleeting“ Glory

Wednesday, April 14, 2010         
The feeling that yours is someone's shoulder to cry on.
The feeling that your being upset disturbs somebody.
The feeling that somebody seeks your presence.
The feeling that your pep talk helped somebody revive and when you are thanked for that.
The feeling that your contribution has made a difference to a team.
The feeling that your opinions on a topic are respected and quoted.
The feeling that you get when you overhear some genuine praises of your work.
The feeling that you get when you are told that you helped someone's dream.
The feeling that you get when you realize you are somebody's dream.


Whenever you have had such feelings, there is nothing short of glory that you have been through. People have celebrated you, your moods, and your successes as though it was theirs, people have come to you to share their moments of depression and given you a deserving part-take in their success moments and in short, have glorified you. Not to forget the best of them of all being the moments of self-glory when you have exceeded your own yardstick or have “Fooled the fools”. These moments when they occurred and when recalled are the sole reasons for us to wipe off any doubts that we had in ourselves during our downtime.


Through this blog, I leave a Thank you note for all those who have glorified ME. This is to let you know that these fleeting “glorious” moments were great to the heart and helped survived those evil fights with the inner self which is always putting a check like a watch dog to not celebrate too much.


Glory be to all of them and to all the things that happened in our lives. If not for such moments of glory, it is not possible to glide through this wicked journey called "Life".


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"FLEETING" self

Tuesday, April 13, 2010         

This is not about a character of a person; it is more about the things we tend to become at certain spans or certain feel factor that we go through.


You may be an extrovert person, but there have been some private shyness period that you have gone through.


You may be a bold person, but there have been moments of deep gripping fear that has chilled your spine.


You may be an overly practical person, but there have been some emotion gripping periods where you found yourself groping to make a decision.


You may be an under-playing success or a less-excited kinds, but there have been some moments where you blew things up, felt pumped up and found it hard to keep that head on those shoulders.


You may be an enthusiastic, high energy person, but there are some periods where you felt even a great dream realized or a much-longed-for successful moment seems subdued.


You may be a patience personification, but there are some hurried moments that you have gone through.


What caused these?
There are situations which have led us to such moments.
There are relationship links who revealed these moments to us.
There are some threshold points in life which caused these changes in us.
There sometimes is no plain reason for those fleeting moments, they just come by and leave you wondering about what you are doing to yourself as a person.


When reading this, if you can recall such stances in your life, then you know exactly what am talking about. If you don't recall any, then it is most likely that you haven't just realized these moments, but they have existed in your life. I am almost certain; there can be no one who has not gone through this.


My series is going to be on these periods that we go through in life and the impact it has had on us as a person.

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Fool

Saturday, April 03, 2010         
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 9; the ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
The society called me a fool, when I refused to understand the word Success as defined by them and said that I am going to define it for myself.

Despite only a few successes, I never called myself a fool.
…Only because..those few were the most glorious.

Spectators and acquaintances called me a fool, when they saw me value my relationships more than anything else.
Despite some broken trusts and failed relationships, I never called myself a fool.
…Only because..with the ones I kept, I felt blessed.

Colleagues called me a fool, when I did not go behind a fat pay cheque and defined my own priorities.
Despite a depleting bank balance, I never called myself a fool.
…Only because..I had a much satisfied heart than a good looking bank balance.


Friends called me a fool, when I was cribbing, feeling less satisfied, not letting myself be in peace though things were seemingly good to everybody else.
Despite some lonely unhappy times and troubled sleepless nights, I never called myself a fool.
…Only because..my troubling the trouble attitude kept me on my toes towards my goals and to define my yardstick.


Onlookers called me a fool, for being arrogant, another set called me a fool, for being innocent,
Despite these mixed tags, I never called myself a fool.
…Only because..I had a few people who could understand my arrogance and innocence, who celebrated and stood by me, the times and situations in which I exhibited the contradictory qualities.

All the world now calls me a fool, when I say I have a dream to chase, a thread to hold on to, a connection to not let go...
Despite all the pain, I wasn’t calling myself a fool.
…Only because........................
Pain overwhelms, beliefs held strong by the heart ripped apart,
So today I ask Am I a fool? Was I always a fool or did I turn into one?

You are anything, only if you think so.
Me to myself: Am I a fool?
My heart doesn’t answer pretending not to hear.... My mind stammers…
Fool the fools one other time, mummers my mind to my heart…
Is my heart hearing?



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