Having written a whole series of posts on this topic, I suddenly felt myself at a loss of expression and thought to write on this topic. Thinking about it, it is because I got conscious to churn out something novel, entertaining and my best. So I thought , I will take a try at the lessons in relationships without getting too boringly philosophically and simplifying the science of relationships. Like I have said in my previous posts, I consider the relationships I have made as concentric circles, the most loved ones, the most needed ones in closest proximity to the core.
Lesson 1: Don't get conscious
Don't consciously try it make it happen and don't consciously do harm to end it. It just doesn’t work, like how it doesn’t work while writing a blog, or giving that presentation, it doesn’t work with relationships too.
Lesson 2: Don't expect text book type reciprocation
Most of us tend to expect our relationships to reciprocate in exact amount of care, love and importance. The more the merrier. We aim to be in the same proximity in their circles as they are with ours. But as life went on, as maturity set in, I came to realize the best of my relationships are not truly mirrored, they reciprocate but in a different sense, they are mutual but in varying sense of degree and category. I might be in the innermost circle of somebody who is in my mid range radius circle. I might be somebody’s watch-dog person but they don’t watch over me. I might consider somebody as my balcony person, but I may not know their darkest moments. As I constantly review and redraw my lines, I know for sure that whatever be the cadre or slightly varying degrees of proximity, it doesn’t matter as long as there exists a mutual need for each other.
Lesson 3 : Always be in for a surprise.
Relationships - the pride we take in our dearest kept ones build our personality. We shape our life's beliefs on them and start living life in a comfort zone. One day, life cheats on us, slaps us on the face and yells 'oh so you thought you could predict me' and then everything else seems to go so predictably wrong!! So always be prepared for change! Be ready with an eraser to redraw your circles.
Lesson 4: Keep drawing
Keep drawing. Some of the lines might have been drawn as a perfect round the first time around but may not have stayed long. Some of them might have been drawn skewed and might have hurt. Some lines needed to be erased to bring other circles closer to the core, some vanished without leaving back a trace while some others took some of your personality away, while some others gave you a different perspective of life. Don't allow the happy ones to let you take your life easy and don't let the broken ones pain you forever, remember the joy they gave to soothe the pain.
Lesson 5 : Always remember the lesson
They all teach a lesson, remember it. That is the golden lesson.
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