My circles – the perfect rounds and the skews

Having written a whole series of posts on this topic, I suddenly felt myself at a loss of expression and thought to write on this topic. Thinking about it, it is because I got conscious to churn out something novel, entertaining and my best. So I thought , I will take a try at the lessons in relationships without getting too boringly philosophically and simplifying the science of relationships. Like I have said in my previous posts, I consider the relationships I have made as concentric circles, the most loved ones, the most needed ones in closest proximity to the core.

Lesson 1:  Don't get conscious
Don't consciously try it make it happen and don't consciously do harm to end it. It just doesn’t work, like how it doesn’t work while writing a blog, or giving that presentation, it doesn’t work with relationships too.

Lesson 2: Don't expect text book type reciprocation
Most of us tend to expect our relationships to reciprocate in exact amount of care, love and importance. The more the merrier. We aim to be in the same proximity in their circles as they are with ours. But as life went on, as maturity set in, I came to realize the best of my relationships are not truly mirrored, they reciprocate but in a different sense, they are mutual but in varying sense of degree and category. I might be in the innermost circle of somebody who is in my mid range radius circle. I might be somebody’s watch-dog person but they don’t watch over me. I might consider somebody as my balcony person, but I may not know their darkest moments. As I constantly review and redraw my lines, I know for sure that whatever be the cadre or slightly varying degrees of proximity, it doesn’t matter as long as there exists a mutual need for each other.

Lesson 3 : Always be in for a surprise.
Relationships - the pride we take in our dearest kept ones build our personality. We shape our life's beliefs on them and start living life in a comfort zone. One day, life cheats on us, slaps us on the face and yells 'oh so you thought you could predict me' and then everything else seems to go so predictably wrong!!  So always be prepared for change! Be ready with an eraser to redraw your circles.

Lesson 4: Keep drawing
Keep drawing. Some of the lines might have been drawn as a perfect round the first time around but may not have stayed long. Some of them might have been drawn skewed and might have hurt. Some lines needed to be erased to bring other circles closer to the core, some vanished without leaving back a trace while some others took some of your personality away, while some others gave you a different perspective of life. Don't allow the happy ones to let you take your life easy and don't let the broken ones pain you forever, remember the joy they gave to soothe the pain.

Lesson 5 : Always remember the lesson
They all teach a lesson, remember it. That is the golden lesson. 

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21 Responses
  1. Vignesh Says:

    Loved the way you prioritize things.Points one and two absolutely true.Good one on a whole :)

  2. pushpee Says:

    when we stand too close that we lines get distorted...not too far not too close, and everything is fine...nice post :))

  3. Tuppence Says:

    @pushpee . Distorted lines when trying to stand too close. That s something I didn't bring out in my post ! thanks for stopping by

  4. Anonymous Says:

    A very unusual blog-post this (for me because I never came close to any blog giving guidance on relationships and all).. Though unusual..but few of your suggestions are really what the real life situation demands for.

    Thank you for sharing!

  5. Jaspreet Says:

    I agree with each of the posts esp the one in which you can't expect others to reciprocate in the same the famous saying goes "If someone doesn't love you the way you want,it doesn't mean that they do not love with whatever they have" ...I think everyone does not have the same capability to feel things!
    Loved the post:)

  6. loved the lesson 3 and 4 !!
    beautifully written :)
    all the best :)

  7. Shail Says:

    I liked the phrase 'keep drawing'. Very positive approach.

  8. Vipul Grover Says:

    Have sent you an email on the id you have provided on your blogger profile. Do check it out :)

  9. A Good writeup said in a unusual way, I loved your style..

    I wish you a good luck for WeBlog Sleepy Sunday Contest - I

    Saravana Kumar - Last Wish

    Yours Frendly,
    Saravana Kumar M

  10. Govind Says:

    A precise honest take on relationships. what impresses me the most is the clarity of thought and the presentation of such profound thoughts in simple form. Kudos!!!
    Wish you all the very best!!!

  11. Sundeep Says:

    The analogy is pretty good...
    but what I have found is that despite knowing the better way of handling, we go with our emotions, clouded by hurt and that perhaps is why we make mistakes...

  12. Hiyaa Says:


    Was so good to return to your blog after ages! I know, I haven't been around. Was transiting to my own domain, in a manner of speaking.
    I loved your post.
    All the best!
    Do visit my page!
    Hiyaa (Sandy)

  13. Tuppence Says:

    @Sadhagopal - Thanks for visiting.
    @Jaspreet - Loved that quote. It fit so perfectly to my theme
    @Sundeep - That is the law of life :). You seem to know or discover "the better way " only after falling in the pit. and this is oh-so-true in terms of relationships
    @Hiyaa - Welcome back! Have been missing you!
    @all - thanks

  14. It's hard to view life from the point of view of others. Because we are focused on ourselves, it is easy to forget that others are focused on themselves and on their varied relationships. Just as they are only one part of our life, we are just one aspect of theirs. Keeping this in mind can often save us the trouble of getting offended when they don't behave as we like.

  15. Rinaya Says:

    I live by lesson 5.. :)
    it's a nice post!

  16. @ Tuppence
    The Gordian knot in Relationships so effortlessly unraveled.
    Its something like You noe it and yet you dont noe it... I too m ready with the pencil to keep drawing and an eraser to redraw the circles :D

  17. Raksha Raman Says:


    Now that's something! It's always better to compartmentalize anything that seems complicated. That way, one can keep it simple and arrive at more clarity! For me, the ultimate is #5! :)


  18. Nasra Says:


    fallow me..

  19. hmm...nice...u hv a way of expressing te grains n leaving out te chaff...nice way of portraying te expressions...keep up te good work...n al te best....!

  20. Tuppence Says:

    @all - thanks
    @Rinaya - that s the golden lesson :)
    @shikha - Yes, that is what relationships are meant for.