Relationships - Part 37 - The "Don't like them initially" people

Saturday, December 12, 2009         

When you meet some people first, their mannerisms annoy you, or their inquisitiveness intrude into your privacy too much, or you find them pompous and bragging or trying to control you too much. They are unlike this "Stranger turned friendship" people. Without giving them any more time, within the first few hours or maximum days, you make your decision firm and strong to dislike them. You start looking at them with biased eyes and you find fault with everything that do, though they may be right. Despite their never ending attempts to try and make them like you, you don't give up.


But, then coming to think of it, over days, months, giving yourself a lot of time, recuperating on your interactions with them, when redrawing some of these circles, you realise that you have grown to like them actually. 


These are the people, whom you did not like initially, the only reason being you were in a hurry to close your outermost circle for them and then time told the truth and opened some boundaries for them.


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Being alone is not being lonely

Friday, December 11, 2009         
Alone times are good but they necessary are not lonely times.


They say, you can feel lonely even in a crowd, but I am not talk about being lonely in a crowd. I am going to talk about not feeling lonely when being a-lone.


Being alone is about a lot of time to think about yourself.
Being alone is about pampering yourself with an extra dose of chocolate pastry without feeling sinful about it.
Being alone is about not having to strike a "just-for-the-sake-of-it" conversation just to avoid some awkward silences.
Being alone is about sitting lost in thought recuperating about past, present and future.
Being alone is sitting on the lawn reading a book sipping a favourite drink not being mindful of the surroundings or the time of day.
Being alone and liking it means not complaining about waiting an extra 15 mins while waiting on a Queue.
Being alone and enjoying one's own company is about not having to reach out to the mobile to read old SMS Inbox and Sent Items.
Being alone and loving it is about not wishing for anyone not even your best friend to call and disturb your private time.
Being alone is about cherishing old dreams, dreaming new doozies, imagining a "pending" dream coming true and living it in your mind.
Being alone is all about feeling good, blessed, depressed, scared and all of it at the same time.


I had one of my alone times today. 


Watching musical fountain show lost in thought watching water, music flow in joy for over an hour, waiting for more than 20 minutes for Pizza without fretting and fuming, eating pizza by the lawn reading a book on iTouch, long walk back in a pleasantly cold night, all of this alone and all the while thinking about many things in life, the good times, the proud successes, the sorrowful failures, the heart breaking events, the soul-stirring moments, the broken promises, the scared to death times, these circles and how their boundaries merged and opened, and about how this list is never going to end as long I have a dream alive just with myself alone.


I had my alone time today after about over a year and enjoyed it. It is nice to do this at the end of a day, within the four secured walls of what I call work-place (though I don't work at this office every day) without having to think about safety and do the thing that I want any time of the day.


Post dedicated to this guest blogger who featured in my blog, a while ago, and to this "DREAMER" that the soul lives in.
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Relationships - Part 36 - The "Not-in-time" Relationships

Thursday, December 10, 2009         
You attend a farewell party or a "last-day-of" something party and you strike a chord of liking with somebody.


You go on a long tour with a group of people, and while the tour is coming to an end, you start enjoying somebody's company.


You meet someone new, when parting with a place or saying good-bye to that group, and you like their outlook on things and get lost in conversation.


You have studied together for years, but you make friends with these people only during the last few weeks of your parting time.


The feeling that you go through is regret on why you did not get a chance to meet these people earlier when there is so much in common and compatibility factor is so high. You got to interact with them or know only now and get to like them just when you have to part with them in a couple of hours/days. There is not much scope to even continue the friendship with them because it feels weird when there is not much closeness achieved, though you like them a great deal. This is what I like to term as "Not-in-time" relationships and these kind of relationships got a mention in my "Missed relationships" post like the ones you just missed making on time.


All said, these people live somewhere in our minds in one of those circles drawn around ourselves.


Topic suggested by a blog reader/follower.
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Relationships - Part 35 - The "Partners in crime" people.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009         
These are people with whom you don't feel guilty about what you do only because they share that same quality and you don't get the feeling that you are the one enjoying some guilty pleasures.


When with them, you don't have to feel guilty about your three minute crush people, firstly because you share a similar taste for them, secondly because their list is longer than yours. Lastly, you either end up fighting with each other or rather ganging up with each other for it :).


When you go out shopping with them or when you are not planning your savings well, or don't keep a budget list, you don't feel guilty about it, because they are a shade worse than you.


When you put your hand out, for that extra share of pastry or ice cream, or for that extra round of vodka, while claiming to be a diet, they come fighting for their share too. So you don't feel like you are the only one who is gobbling those high calorie things.


Be it planning a classroom prank together, for that extra time in the bus stop / train station gossiping, tearing up magazines for posters, collecting heroes clippings and collectibles, or playing missed call pranks, fighting over/ganging up for the sake of the Three minute crush people , or for those "first time" trials for smoke or booze, they have been partners in crime in all from the most serious of things to the most funny/trivial of things. You have that never ending debate with them about who learnt these qualities from whom?


They are pillion riders with you on the guilt trips that you make for the sake of it, but you don't really feel guilty about them.


Who are your Partners in Crime?
Dedicated to my special "Partner in crime", My crime rate is so much on the low the last 2 years that you have been away.
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Relationships - Part 34 - The "Positive vibe" people

Tuesday, December 08, 2009         
There are people who always see the glass half full, don't crib about things however bad they may be tending to be but yet on the lookout to make things better, display eternal optimism and to say the least, have a highly contagious attitude. You just have to sit with them for a chat, during your happiest times or your tough ones, you don't have to tell them about your mood or anything, just strike a converstion with them about anything under the sun, you come back infected with a percentage of their enthusiam levels and think that life is rather insipid without problems. After you have had that chat and feeling geared up to face the fight with a brave smile, spread the cheer and enthusiam that they passed on to you around. I call them "Positive Vibe" people in my world


It is a like a perfume, you can't spread the fragrance unless you spray some on your self.



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When you have to make a post every day...

Monday, December 07, 2009         
.. And when you are running short of time like crazy .. Rushing to catch a train in an hour, that is when your itouch comes handy to make this hurried post . I am really happy with this thing :-)


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Relationships - Part 33 - "Stranger Turned to Being Liked" people.

Sunday, December 06, 2009         
There are some people whom you get introduced and talk to for the first time and start liking them a great deal. You like the way they engage in conversation to somebody unknown. You like the way they behave. You like their sense of humour. If you discussed anything serious, you like their take on the topic. 


They strike a chord of liking with you that you go back and think about them recounting your meeting with them and the memories fill you with a feeling of "a new friend found". These stranger people don't really have to have displayed any extrovert behaviour for you to like them, even their silence or some meaningful smiles or sarcastic sighs can make you develop this liking for them.


Another category of these stranger people are those whom you may not have even met or got introduced to. They might just be people whom you have just observed, like as a fellow traveler, watched them just as a friend of another friend, observed them as a colleague or any sorts. But you have observed them many a times, and all such times you have liked them. 


There are quite a few of these "Stranger Turned to Liked" kind of people in our lives. The first kind of people sometimes have become part of our closest circles. The second kind most often don't live in our memories for too long unless we see them on a regular basis. Though we have forgotten them, we know that they have existed in our life and they are one of our circles, just anonymous but.


They say something about First Impression, may be this is testimony that First Impressions matter.
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All in a Day's Work

Saturday, December 05, 2009         
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 5; the fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
The post to be read imagining the sections as hours in a day and as years in one's life. 
00:01 - 03:00
I felt something different, something that I have not been used to. Everything seems new, out of the ordinary, I technically start a new something, some call it, new Life, some call it a new Day .


To me, it just feels like some disturbed moment of sleep, which you don't really wake up to, just heave a sigh or yell out a shriek and go back to slumber. Feel blessed that the alarm has a few more hours before it goes.


03:01 - 06:00
I saw some kind eyes looking at me with all love, some comforting hands pampering me, I saw those eyes say a few things to me, not with voice but with its heart. I saw a dream in my mother's eyes. I just registered the feeling of those eyes in my heart.


In the midst of that sleep, I saw some vision, I recognized a few things, I saw some things that am going to make mine. I did not know what to call it, it was a myriad of things. All with one clear message that I want it to be mine and I was happy. I did not know what to call it, I had to wake up to an alarm and I just gave it a name Dream, wrapped it, sealed it safely and went on .


06:01 - 09:00
I was all blue eyed, just observing, things and people around, inquisitively, all with a open willing to take anything as it comes attitude. I learnt a few lessons, picked up some values and habits all by just watching silently.


Consciously and unconsciously taking account of the things around, in preparation and anticipation of the things to unfold.


09:01 - 12:00
Slowly starting recognizing a few things, watching in silence. Using just intuition to decide between the good from the bad.


Started things a fresh, with the things I observed thus far and made a list of things to do. With all the confidence gained and the values picked up , ventured out to do the things with all the optimism in the world with an elated feeling of "nothing-can-go-wrong".


12:01 - 15:00
Some happy moments, some disturbing hungry moments. Some pampered and celebrated, some tears of pain all taken care of but.


Encountered some successes, fell down, hand held through a few steps. Celebrated those little successes, mourned a few failures, but took the lesson from both and swiftly got on.


15:01 - 18:00
Confused with too many things, feeling a little tired, things getting a little over the head, sometimes under control, but sometimes that head struggling to stay on my shoulders.


Like in a coffee break, recollected the things that has happened so far, took a check on the miles to go before I go to sleep. Sometimes feeling relaxed after taking counting but sometimes restless in a hurry to go get it done.


18:01 - 21:00
A bit of unrest, too may people around, everybody around seems happy and busy with me being the center of attraction. All so fast, from the only pair of eyes , I see many things and I seem to like it.


Some of the things that happened during this period were too quick and fast changing, some of them were realized and cherished, some done in a hurry and did not register. Among those that registered, the success I encountered and the people I who touched me, I unwrapped the Dream package I made put these things and people as new dreams inside and sealed it back, this time all the more securely.


21:01 - 23:59
I could recognize this face very well, the eyes that were all day on me, watching my every move, it is such a familiar feeling, I have seen it somewhere kind of feeling. The touch, the smile, the smell all reminding me of something that I have already seen/felt.


It felt everything around me seemed familiar. Who unpacked that "Dream" package and showed it to the outside world? All the contents of that "Dream" package, I can see it spilled over, taken shape and unveiled in front of me and leaving me with a "Deja-vu" feeling. I was living my dream and when I was on the verge without being able to decide if to feel elated or to be in doubt if this too was a dream, technically a new SOMETHING begins, a new Dream, a new Day, a new LIFE, whatever I should call it this time.


I wrote this post with the intention of the different sections to be read both with the perspective of it being the hours in a day and as also the years in our life. To me, life is a collection of a few hand picked dreams and every day in it is a step towards it. The above is an illustration of a dream dreamt in the initial wee hours, cherished during the day and then lived later with a "deja-vu" feeling. The same projected on to the years of life. Dreams are work in progress and all the work in our day in our contribution to a step closer to that dream.


"Live life, live your dream"
Post dedicated to this guest blogger who featured in my blog, a while ago, and to this "DREAMER" that the soul lives in.
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
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Relationships - Part 32 - Your "Sentiment" people

Friday, December 04, 2009         
There are these people in our lives, who give you this feeling, that anything you venture out to do, they need to know. They may not help you with what you are going to do, they may not give you any piece of advice, but just their acknowledgement magically gives you a sense of confidence and a feeling of assurance that you are doing the right thing. You hold them as your lucky charm. You have chosen these people into this category, the only reason being that they mean nothing but the best for you.


There are some things in our lives, which give you this same feeling, It might be a thing that you need to see before you do our dearest thing. It might be a color that you like to wear before start something new. Thinking of it, sometimes sounds silly, but we have all done it some time in our lives.


After all , be it starting it by telling these "Sentiment" people, or taking your "sentiment" thing along, if it makes you feel good, then all will be well.




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Relationships - Part 31 - The "Jabbering" people

Thursday, December 03, 2009         

You casually ask to these people "What s up?"
..and they rattle away to glory non-stop, totally unrelated stuff that you wouldn't even be remotely interested in.

You , just for the sake of striking a conversation, try to talk about something funny.
..they pick the chance and start either cribbing about something too trivial or try to express their strong opinion on something just so irrelevant to the context.

You, run into some common acquaintance or a friend, when with these people, and wave a hand,
..they start weaving stories about this person, without paying any heed, giving you updates about them, about how not-so-rosy is their relationship.

You are discussing something very light over a cup of coffee,
..they start a topic which will be totally unrelated to what is going on, the only reason for it being that they want to just talk, and don’t care whether you listen or even if you might be interested. You might visibly appear bored, sometimes when in a group, you might have even stopped nodding and got on to do something else, but they continue.

You give them an opportunity to start talking.
..they just don't stop.

They most often do petty talks over irrelevant or trivial matters, or even if they discuss something that might interest, you most of the time, even if you support/counter their views, you prefer not to talk and just end up forcefully listening. When with them, the otherwise very-talkative YOU remains shut, just nodding and grinning pretending to listen.

Sometimes, instead of getting annoyed by these people, I feel pity for them. Is it that they are so innocent not to realize that others are not interested in their jabbering talk and yet continue   or they know and yet continue doing it?

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Relationships - Part 30 - Hurt - Win back / Lose forever relationships

Wednesday, December 02, 2009         
I have talked about the circles of relationships, the circles that were drawn on the fly to fit people, the circle boundaries that were erased to move people around to take on new roles, the circle boundaries that were opened out to let people go. Relationships were made, broken, deteriorated, strengthened and some just left as is.


This post is about main cause of relationships breaking is hurt, be it a sudden bout of anger, or some conscious decisions to stay away and part ways, you hurt and get hurt when relationships tarnish.


There are some relationships people whom you can afford to hurt, and that relationship still remain and is mostly it is with the "Not-by-choice" people or the "No-Fear of losing them" people in our lives. You win them back by patiently going through hardship and guilt.
 
But there are some relationships which end because of hurt, these are those that are lost forever and can never be got back. Does time heal these relationships or are we always on a guilt trip?


How many of your people did you hurt and win back and how many did you lose forever?


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Relationships - Part 29 - "Sail under false colours" people

Tuesday, December 01, 2009         
..People who keep sticking on to you despite you giving them hints that you dislike them, you snap at them they grin, you yell at them they turn a deaf ear to you.


..People who for some reason want to know updates about you from every possible source, and how shamelessly they reveal that curiosity and inquisitiveness.


..People who keep talking on and on despite you visibly hinting to them, that you don’t enjoy their conversation.


..People who lack self-respect and are demeaning enough to annoy others trying to get into other’s comfort zones, they keep trying to get closer or enter into your inner circles.


..People who scornfully mock your successes and with all evil smiles celebrate your failures.


..People who around calling themselves your friend, when you don’t tell even you most open secret or even share you most public happiness with them. 


This is about the people whose company or presence gets me on my nerves and I just about don’t enjoy it. One can’t even call them carpetbaggers, because they get no benefit by sticking on to us or in collecting information about us, but they spitefully enjoy our troubles and contemptuously scorn our successes. The façade that these people wear in the pretext of friendship is annoying and I call them “Sailing under false colors” people.

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