Relationships - Part 9 - The "Left to themselves" relationships

This post is about a friend of mine. I’ll refer to this person as "P" in this post.

Scene 1: A random e-mail
From: Tuppence<>
To  : P<>
Subject: Hey
Date ::<Somewhere around March April 2009>
What is up? How are things with you? Tell me if you are coming over to your mom's place, we will meet. Been a long time.
--No reply

Scene 2: 2 August, 2009. Friendship day 
I wrote a special friendship day post on my personal blog with all memories and emotions about all the people I hold as dear friends and "P" had a mention in that post. I sent out an email to all whom I had mentioned in that blog for them to read, though I hadn't been in constant touch with some of them. Most of them replied back and it felt very good to read their replies, a few like P did not even acknowledge the post.
-I too did not call back.

Scene 3: 15 September, 2009. My Friend P's wedding anniversary
SMS: Hey, Happy returns of the day, Have a nice day.
-- No acknowledgement reply.
-- I too did not call back.

Scene 4: Some day, Some month, 2009. Gist of a conversation with another common friend who lives abroad.
This common friend said that P has sent her a couple of emails recently asking how she s doing and all that. She then asks me have you folks talked or met lately. I said, huh, no, I haven't had replies for my emails or SMS es and we saw each other around last Christmas time.

Scene 5: Some day, October 2009. Scrap on Orkut.
I scrapped on P's "not-so-active" orkut scrapbook.
--No reply

Scene 6: 11 November, 2009. Today. P's birthday.
I had lost my mobile 2 days back, and I had never taken backup of the contacts on my phone. hence, I lost all my contacts. Today, being P's birthday, I remembered with no reminder needed on Orkut, facebook, mobile or anything. I just almost never forgot in the last 10 years we have known each other. I quickly emailed this common friend of mine for P's mobile number, reminding her too of P's birthday. Given the timezone difference, I was going to get the mobile number only late in the evening. I thought for a second, and I actually recalled P's mobile number. I dialled and P's familiar voice said Hello.
Me: Hey It is me.
P: Ya, I know. I was wondering, where you vanished, are you in India at all? I was telling my mom  yesterday, how you have disappeared and that I should drop in to your home to visit you. And I don't even know the new  home you have moved to!!
Me: I am very much in India and in town. I lost my mobile and had lost.......
P: Yeah, but you can reply to emails right? I have sent you many emails and got no replies.
Me: {Was that not supposed to be my dialogue}. Oh, you mailed my yahoo?
P: yeah, Yahoo. {P is such an old timer, hasn’t even moved accounts and being a stickler would not even write to my official email}.
Me: Ok. I don't check yahoo these days. I moved to Gmail ages back, {you, fool}. Anyway, Happy returns. Are you going to come over anytime today to visit your mom? I am free, we can meet.
P: No, I am not going to be around there anytime soon. I have got to go now, shall call later.
I remembered her mobile number only because she had got herself a mobile before most of us and I used to dial her number from my landline and had written it down in my "now-not-to-be-found" address books. I remembered her birthday without any reminders because her birthday has a special date 11-11 and she used to relate it to a history event at the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month whatever, some World War end date something. So I remembered.

But if you expected me to show anger, dislike, or any decreasing degree of love for P in any of the scenes 1-5, then it is an absolute "NO". She is one of the people whom I call as "left-to-themselves" relationships. We haven't talked for months together; don't know what is happening with each other's lives, haven't seen each other for over a year sometimes but whenever we get back in touch or talk over phone, we never complain, it just is the same as it always was. She became busy with marriage, family, daughter, work and so many things in life that does not allow her to be in as frequent touch as she would love to be, but I understand perfectly and it just hasn't changed my friendship with her. I still do my bit to make her happy, during my trips aboard, I have made it a point to bring her favourite chocolate and cookies, visit her during Christmas or anytime she comes over to her mother's place. She has never visited me for the last 5 or 6 years and I have never complained. 

"Left to be on its own", our relationship has grown stronger with either of us having had nothing to do to strengthen it. I don’t know if I gave the title the most appropriate name, but this kind of relationship has just no strings attached, no demands and yet friendship , it remains. These people are as dear and important to me as much as the ones, I talk to everyday.

P.S I could recall her mobile number mainly because she stuck on to the same service provider and number for the last 7 years like she did with my friendship.

Happy Birthday , P.
{I am sure she is not going to read this post}

Post dedicated to P for her birthday and to many other such friendships that I hold similar to the one with P.
Love you all.

2 Responses
  1. Senthilvel Says:

    Lovely... Don't know if you've read my thoughts, but its something like this I wanted to read now..